Casey

Confession:

2007-08-22T14:56:49Z

I don't want to get tested for things like cervical cancer and whatnot, because i'm scared i might end up having it.

ihatetheletterx @ 2007-08-07T23:27:00

2007-08-08T03:44:38Z

i was tagged by fixmestrong

1. List seven habits/quirks/facts about yourself.
2. Tag seven people to do the same.
3. Do not tag the person who tagged you or say that you tag whoever wants to do it.

1. I don't like people who are more outgoing or funny than me, basically i like to be the center of attention i really don't like that about me, but it is what it is.

2. I can honestly say that i hate the way i look and am constantly envious of people that are thinner than i am.

3. I have doubts about EVERYTHING. work, future plans, even when i want to buy clothes. i second guess almost every thing i do, which is why when i want to do something i do it without thinking it through because i know if i do, i'll probably back out of it.

4. I am pretty allergic to aspirin, wasps/bees, and poison ivy.

5. Am easily intimidated by people that are older than me and that remind me of, me. It's weird but i really am intimidated by them.

6. I love sports and i honestly don't know what i would do if i became paralyzed.

7. I love Angelina Jolie. She is the one person that i find capable of being positively beautiful, glamorous and classy, but still be very badass and doing basically what she wants, and even further, still be conscious of the world around her and be very humanitarian. i love her and i want to be like her.

i tag xxhittheground, invisibleones, atcertainhours, neoistheone, iattackapples, squirlvsbanana, and falling__bomb

Since whenever

2007-08-06T00:59:45Z

So i've been working since my dad got out of the hospital. He got out and for a while it was horribly painful for him to walk at all and he did so sparingly. But he got better and everything is fine now and i do'nt want that to change.
Sadly, harry potter the movie was a dissappointment, but then again, when did i ever expect much more than a let down on those movies? Oh well. And i'm still working on the books. I'm literally having dreams where like i make up stuff in my head like i'm reading it it's so freaking trippy.
I went to Orlando for a National Youth Gathering of all of the youth that are in the Lutheran Church Missouri Synod. If i learned anything, i realized that i really do shut God out of my life with straight up distractions and, honestly, the only time i think about God is when i pray at night, which is almost always half-assed b/c i feel A) tired as shit and B) obligated to do it. But things have changed.
Anyway, I'm back now and i'm really doubting my place of employment. I mean i get paid crap, they didn't put my annual raise in which would only be like 40 cents anyway, and some of the things they are demanding this year are ridiculous. For example, while i was in Orlando, a brother of a pretty important director in our branch killed himself and he was 20. So obviously people were friends with him and needed to attend his funeral, which happened to be during work. So Jen called me and asked if i could work from like 9-12/12:30ish on thursday and i was like okay. I had stuff to do for my Grandma's birthday which was friday and i was planning around getting it done after work. Long story short, i stay till 2 and i have no time to get stuff done, and i'm up till 12:30 cleaning. I comein the next day hoping i could get off early since, while it was no one's fault, i had to stay later and i really needed that time to get things done.
And Jen gives me a flat no when i ask her and it becomes a whole ordeal and she finally lets me leave. It was just so inconsiderate of what i needed to do. There was NO WAY i could stay. point blank. And this is coming from someone who has NEVER called in sick, NEVER been late, NEVER had to leave early spur of the moment like that, and i get bitched at for it.
It's just frustrating because I just think the people that are basically your bosses are too young and naive and simply unprofessional.
And i've realized that really, summer doesn't bring me closer to my friends like most people, by any means. I hardly hang out with chelsea and carlos, and alex is the only person I hang out with and when we do it's kind of lame because Alex never wants to hang out with people and it's getting pretty freaking annoying.
I'm just ready for school to be back in, the realization of it being our last year in high school to settle in and then shove off for college.

haha...watch me die tommorrow...with all these plans.

ihatetheletterx @ 2007-07-01T13:25:00

2007-07-01T17:25:49Z

"It's the unknown we fear, when we look upon death and darkness, nothing more"

--Albus Dumbledore.

So

2007-06-29T03:51:21Z

So i've just started work last week, which, honestly, is positively exhausting. The kids can be really cool, because they are cool kids, but they can wear you out. Sometimes i want to punch them in the fucking face. But evidently i did well that week so i got counselor of the week.
Lena left on thursday, which i have mixed feelings about. I mean i'm glad i can have my own room and bed and whatnot back, but in a way i'll miss her, but (it sounds really bad but this is being honest) i won't. I don't know it's difficult to explain.
One of my kids confided in me today that her dad gets drunk and beats her. I don't roll that way, and i obviously told my leadership staff, so i hope things get better for her. Ironically enough, she was at family night tonight with her mom and i'm guessing her dad? but theoretically they don't live together. But she's not the kind of person taht would make it up so i really don't know what's going on there.
With that, kyle byrd dying (who was a YMCA camper who died in a car wreck that many of my coworkers knew and even were his counselors), and David's (coworker) mom suddenly being hostpitalized, it's really humbling. I thought i had a stressful week.
I'm just ready for Saturday. I'm pissed off though because i could be going to the beach tommorow but i have this stupid thing to do for chuch that i don't even want to do. It's a dumb fundraiser to go to Florida this summer for a National Youth Gathering which would be cool if the people that lead the fundraisers weren't such dicks. But whatever i have like every other weekend to go up there so i mean. it's whatever.
I hope my mom will let me stay over at alex's some time this next week. I'm an idiot and let slip that her parents are leaving that week so i'm going to have to figure out a way to go over there without my parents being sketch.

oh and p.s.

2007-01-24T02:47:58Z

i'm overworked.
i need to refikeinglax b/c i've more or less paid off that credit card bill.

ihatetheletterx @ 2007-01-20T18:08:00

2007-01-20T23:10:40Z

I've been thinking and, quite frankly, i've realized that i truly cannot trust anyone.
and for good ass reasons.
People are liars.
People use other people solely for thier benefit, acting like they're best friends and then fucking them over.
People are just douchebags in general.
Like.. i don't get why people feel compelled to be mean to other people for absolutely no reason, outside of the miniscule bit of satisfaction you get out of making another person feel like shit.
I'm never going to be mean ever.

Also, however, i wish i could go back in time and change things before they got fucked up. kje;lrkjwl;,am.,c

Fuck new years resolutions.

2007-01-03T00:42:09Z

These are my Late Winter, Spring Resolutions b/c i'm sorry a whole year? who knows what can happen!:
1. Study harder. i can EASILY slide by with a high B low A. but that only proves that i can try and EXCEL. And i really need to study anyway with approaching EOCs, SAT at the end of Jan., and 2 AP tests.
2. Work on college stuff. I want to go to UNCW or App. but b/c of my grades, quite frankly i could get into a LOT better colleges. But still, i just want to get away.
3. Learn to be a wise-spender. This whole debt shit is ridiculous i know better than this.
4. Pay back every last penny of my 300 dollar credit card bill and then pay my mom back for bailing me out so much.
5. Stomach, just wtf.
6. Apply at Harris Teeter. if not HT, somewhere that will pay pretty good that will accept that fact that i ONLY work during the week after lax and not on weekends.
7. Bust ASS at lacrosse. I'm really going to practice and kill it this year.
8. Don't care about SERIOUS relationsthips in high school i mean...these are the times of my life. I need to take full advantage of them and not waste my time in serious relationships that may or may not hold me back. Not saying that there's anything wrong with relationships it's just that they shouldn't be the center around my life and like...idk just have fun.
9. Just chill about things. Party, have fun. don't worry too much about consequences, b/c if i get caught, i get caught there's absolutely nothing i can do about that and it's not like my parents will care immensely anyway.

Okay i think i'm going to start using this again

2006-11-02T22:37:53Z

And it's about damn time.
Really, all i wanted to say is that i hate reading this thing and see how all of my friends, that i used to like. wow. i used to hang out with them day in and day out--just had a flashback from our first last day of school--are so sad and annoyed and i wish i could do something but i feel like things are just...done.
It's like as soon as Lauren moved away things fell apart with everyone and quite frankly, besides Jon and Stephanie (who both live miles away and go to different schools), I truly can't consider anyone i hang out with one of my best friends.
It's really depressing.
and now jackie's expelled.
i seriously don't know what to do it's like everything's falling away from me and it's all too big for me to pull back on my own
i love Jon, i really do, but i don't want to be one of those girls that has to rely on thier boyfriend for any and every source on entertainment.

ihatetheletterx @ 2006-03-10T17:28:00

2006-03-10T22:29:01Z

I'M SO TIRED OF THIS THING
hence the reason i just deleted all of my entries excluding the menstration cycle one b/c i couldn't brin gmyself to do it. lol
You just won't see me updating it like....ever lol

22nd, 26th, 24th, 23rd. WTF??

2005-10-26T23:16:22Z

Dear menstration cycle,

Though i don't normally write you notes, I just want to make it clear how annoying you've proved yourself to be. Not only do you start on an unknown time, but you also ... well you also exsist which sucks in itself, You make my face break out, you make me look fat, you make me eat too much, and you make me be stressed out.
I don't know about any other girls but reviewing the contents of my ovaries doesn't really appeal to me. Sure, PMS can be an excuse for things, but, frankly, i would rather be called a bitch then have you so that i can use PMS as my excuse.
So please, take this to hear....uterus? If you are goign to continue visiting me monthly for the rest of my life until i'm 40ish, be nice about it. It's common courtesy.

Thanks,
Casey.